Back at the beginning of this year, I moved onto the path of expansion. Here we are, more than half way into this journey, and things have changed a great deal for me. Not only internally, but externally as well. Part of that journey has been the improvements I’ve made in my physical wellness (ie weight-loss).
I started my efforts to shed excess weight back in December of last year, and I did have a small amount of success. But, the commitment. The readiness to release the pounds just wasn’t there. At the first sign of stormy weather – family stress – any progress that I had flew straight out the window.
My Weight Loss Journey
It was not my first attempt. In fact, the size of my body and the accompanying body-image issues have been a part of my life since I was a young child.
In elementary school, my mother would always tell me that it was “baby fat” and that it would – essentially – leave of its own accord as I matured. I don’t think the boys in middle school who would tease me and call me “cow” would have believed that answer either.
In high school, though, I did shed A LOT of it. Not all of it. At least to my way of thinking. But, that had more to do with the fact that I was in marching band all four years of my high school career. Two years as a flute player, and the last two, on the flag team.
Talk about coming off right quick then! I could essentially eat anything I wanted at that point, and boy did I ever!
The biggest challenges I faced after graduation with regard to my weight were…
- I had terrible eating habits.
- Didn’t have much money after moving out of the house.
- Worked at a pizza place. (ie FREE pizza!)
- My level of activity dropped drastically.
Those things combined will definitely result in weight gain!
Four years after that, I became pregnant for the first time, and I still didn’t know how to eat properly. When the food cravings hit me, my favorite treats were butter pecan ice cream and nachos with jalapenos. Needless to say, I put on quite a bit of weight. And my second pregnancy wasn’t any better.
It’s said that once the baby is born, the weight will go right along with them. For me, such was not the case. With each subsequent birth, I grew (and stayed) a little heavier.
There was a nine year gap between my second and third children. I was thirty-five by the time I became pregnant for the third time. By that time, I had learned enough to know that I wanted to eat better, so both she and I were receiving the right nutrition to be healthy. Once she was born, though, she still left behind a good portion of the weight I had gained. A fact that was highly disappointing since I had felt as though I had done everything “right”.
My Youngest Is Now a Teen
Thirteen years have passed since our youngest child was born, and over that time, I’ve made many attempts to get back down to my pre-babies weight. I’ve tried to “kill” myself with exercise. I’ve tried different nutrition programs. So much so that I’ve begun to remind myself of my mother. (Which is probably where my body issues stem.) And each time, I’ve had limited success. I’m happy to say that I currently weigh back to the weight I am before I became pregnant for the third time, but I desire so much more for myself and my health.
I’d Given Up
When I slid off the weight-loss wagon at the beginning of this year, I figured I was “done”. I was going to give up trying. Even the times when I thought I was “so dedicated”, I only had nominal success.
Sure! I had done Keto for four months back in 2017 and had done surprisingly well. That time, I’d shed twenty pounds with little to no effort. When I began to slide, though, I ended up being taken to ER for heart challenges, and my cholesterol was higher than normal.
It may have worked for some people, and it may not have been at the root of my challenges, but I wasn’t going to take a chance on it again.
Back in July, I went out to dinner with a good friend of mine. During the evening, she told me about the successes she’d been experiencing with Weight Watchers. She was excited and passionate about it. Like me, she’d struggled with her weight over the years, but felt that she is at a point where she’s ready.
See, there is A LOT more to weight loss than merely moving more and watching what you eat. There’s the psychological aspects of it as well.
I thought Noom – the program I participated in back at the end of 2018 – would provide me with those missing pieces. In some instances, it did. But, it just wasn’t enough. I just didn’t feel a connection (vibe) with the coaches or my peers, and maybe… my “why” wasn’t strong enough.
Now, I’m subscribed to the online Weight Watchers program. My friend’s excitement and passion was infectious. So much so that I signed up the following morning. Still… Her excitement, passion, and even support wouldn’t be enough to get me to the “finish line”, if I didn’t find a way to get in alignment with my ‘why’.
No matter what goals we have in our lives, if we don’t have a solid ‘why’, we have little to no hope of accomplishing it.
In the past, my ‘why’ had been to:
- appear sexier to my husband
- feel comfortable in my skin (finally)
- wear fun clothes again
- increase the longevity of my life, so I could be around longer for my family
In the end, these things were still not enough. Even the desire to feel comfortable in my skin was for other people. It was so my appearance would be more acceptable to others.
I AM My Why
I have finally made myself – my health and appearance – my why. Not because I desire to be more accepted by others, but because I desire to feel comfortable with me, to feel good in this body.
Since I made that decision, I have begun walking five days a week, increasing the distance from a mile to three. I still treat myself from time to time…
I LOVE the Honey Maid Chocolate Graham Crackers for this! They cure a sweet tooth and are only one point for two crackers.
And I still have wine on occasion.
But, at the time of this writing, I have shed nine pounds, and it hasn’t been that painful. I’m getting healthier. I’m feeling better than I have in some time.
Can You Relate?
Does anything about my story resonate with you? Are these things that you have experienced as well?
My purpose in life and for this website is to “inspire and support others in living the highest vision for their life”.
Full disclosure. If you use that link, I will also receive a month free.
BUT, that is not my guiding force in sharing my story with you. Nor would I leave you high and dry to take this journey alone. If you are interested in joining and would like my support along the way, please feel free to reach out to me. I would love to connect with you! Shoot me a message, and I’ll give you my username.
Until next time, my dear friend.